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About This Blog

Hello all! This is Connie speaking. So glad that you’ve decided to stalk me on here. I tend to rant and have a problem of not knowing when to stop, so to remedy that I started blogging a few years back. I’m just a conflicted twenty-something-year-old trying to make sense of the world. A single voice in a controversial generation. These are just thoughts, opinions, and lessons learned on this project we called life. Feel free to peruse through the inner-workings of my mind. I’m not trying to rack up the most readers or comments, but rather organize the thoughts in my head that seem to run a million miles per hour. If you would like to view my posts pre October 15, 2013 you can view them on my Tumblr: http://thelifeproject.tumblr.com I try to update at least once a week, mostly on Mondays and Thursdays, but really it’s whenever my mind gets lost in the clouds. Feel free to read, share, comment, complain, ignore my posts… really whatever floats your boat. Connie
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The Asian-American Awakening: That Moment When You Realize You’re Not White

When I was five I was put in a different school because there was an ESL (English as a Second Language) program there. You may be wondering, “what’s wrong with that?” Well, for starters, I was born in Ohio and English was my native tongue. I was reading novels by kindergarten (totally spelled that wrong the first time, fail) and I prided myself on the fact that I had an extensive vocabulary for a toddler. I had been speaking English with exquisite finesse up to that point in my life (okay, that may all be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point). So I didn’t know why I was being put in an ESL program, but I didn’t argue because who’s going to listen to a five year old? At that age, you don’t question things, you just accept. I carried forth with my days throwing raisins at the teacher and drawing cartoon characters on the desks. It wasn’t until later in life I tried to analyze the situation and came to this conclusion: I was put in that program for one reason, I was a shy Asian girl and everyone jumped to the conclusion that I […]
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Voting for Donald Trump is a Personal Insult

I’ve always believed in politics on a theoretical level, you know small government this, big government that. It’s just politics, nothing personal. Or as one presidential candidate might say, it’s just business. And though it’s entertaining to watch politicians make fun of one another and majorly screw up, something dawned on me the other day while watching the presidential debate. Seeing Donald Trump stand behind that podium had me picturing what if that podium had the White House seal? You see, it’s all fun and games until the reality starts sinking in, that he is one step closer to the Oval Office. I realized this election is getting personal to me upon hearing him shout China countless amount of times and “stop and frisk”. So much so that Donald Trump is up there on that stage because people are voting for him. And for my friends reading this, (using my “I” statements from 3rd grade conflict management training) I am personally offended if you vote for Donald Trump and here’s why. As a child of immigrants, a vote for Trump is saying you don’t think my family and I should be in this country. My parents both individually immigrated to the US in the 80s. Both […]
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On A Journey to Find Authentic Christianity

Disclaimer: This all may sound like a long angry and bitter rant, and maybe some of it is, but more than how I feel, I strongly believe there is a grave danger the modern Western church faces, and that is what non-Christians have been saying for years. It is the idea of being fake. And I, as a long time Christian who has gotten lost in that world for too long agree. The Church’s World I grew up in church. Never went to a high school football game because Friday nights were reserved for youth group. Which was a big deal because growing up in the midwest, high school football was THE thing to do Friday nights. So believe me when I say, I know all about the Christian lingo, the Christian lifestyle, and the Christian beliefs. I blindly followed what every pastor, leader, Christian blogger wrote and said. So everything said from this point on, I have done and honestly may continue to unknowingly do. But after many difficult periods of my life these past few years I have finally come to terms with the situation. I started this post two years ago when I began to take a step back […]
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I Hated Being Called Pretty

I was a huge tomboy growing up (still am). I hated wearing anything that was remotely feminine. I was the only girl on my baseball team in elementary school and I distinctly remember winning the unsanctioned spitting contest in the dugout. I was the go-to tech guru and sports maniac of all my friends and played video games until the break of dawn. My dad and I would talk about cars for hours and I’d read all his Motor Trend issues that came in the mail. So as a child, whenever my parents’ friends would call me “pretty” or “beautiful” I’d feel this unease cloud me and I wouldn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t that I didn’t think I was so-called “good-looking”, it was that I didn’t care and I didn’t notice. To me it wasn’t a compliment, it was merely a formality, an observation. If I wanted a compliment, I wanted one based on my achievements, not something that was out of my control. Yet, for some reason, it seems to me that many people think that beauty is the greatest compliment you can give. I think our girls deserve better than just being pretty. It’s no wonder women value beauty to the […]
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Guilty Pleasures

We all have them. They plague us when we’re alone and no one’s watching. We throw fake laughter when others tease people for listening to THAT band or watching THAT show in hopes that they don’t find out that we too in fact indulge. Well, I’m going to defend my guilty pleasures. So judge away because I know you secretly like it too. 1. Music As someone who is very peculiar (and somewhat snobbish) about my music, I will confess that my iTunes consists of every single song recorded by the Miss Taylor Swift, and knowing the lyrics to just about 90% of the songs as well as who they are written about is not something I necessarily take pride in. I will say, to my defense, she is very talented at writing catchy hooks and settling down in your head with no intentions to leave anytime soon. And for those who make fun of her many man exploits… SHE JUST TRUSTS PEOPLE AND FALLS IN LOVE EASILY OK. LEAVE TAYLOR ALONE. Favorite song: Tim McGraw 2. TV Shows Yeah, the WB/CW consumed my middle school and high school years. I have seen every episode of The OC and One Tree […]
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How To Feel Like A Pretty Lousy Human Being

I walked past her everyday. The first time was probably the most difficult. I paused, discreetly looked at her, and then quickly shuffled away. I kept thinking, “I’ll buy her lunch one day, listen to her story, and change her life. I’ll be quite the hero.” Well, I never did. Not even close. She had crutches, looked to be in her late sixties, but was probably a decade younger. She wore black from head to toe and would sit cross-legged by the telephone booth. As I walked by everyday, she would try to look me in the eyes and stick her hands out, gently rocking them up and down desperately crying for some sort of spare change. She mastered the look of pity. I expected her every morning so, about 100 feet away, I would purposely turn my head the other way from her simply to avoid eye contact. Everyone else would do the same. Lamborghinis, Bentleys, and every other car only trust fund babies or lucky SOBs with oil in their backyards can afford parked on the side of that street. Down the street was a department store with window displays filled with trivial goods by Prada, Dior, and whatever other pompous rich man’s last name you can think […]
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I’m Sorry

I realized sincere apologies are rare these days and if an apology is thrown your way, many times it is just used as a “please stop talking” tag. It’s not to say apologies are disingenuous, but I think in this self-obsessed world where we think our 1000+ “friends” want to know how we are feeling through an emoticon, we tend to hold ourselves higher than we actually are. We craft ourselves to the world in our fake portrayal of perfection. So it’s no surprise that when it comes to a real apology, we’d rather say “I’m sorry for the way that you feel.” In light of all this, I think there are some things that I need to apologize for. Some might say that I’m too young to have regrets, but what I’ve learned in my short life, is that I’m never too young to start making things right. So if you’re reading this, and feel that I am talking to you, let me know, I want to personally say the words “I’m sorry” to you. Oh God, here I go: I’m sorry to those I’ve ignored (whether in my naive high school years or even to this day) because […]
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Love Makes Me Gag

The other day at work, a customer asked me, “Can I ask you a personal question?” Thinking she was going to ask me a shallow question like what my favorite breakfast food was (pancakes, duh), I enthusiastically answered with a “sure, go ahead!” I was quickly taken back and probably awkwardly stared at her for a few seconds when she asked “What do you do for dating here?” I responded, “I don’t.” Now, don’t pity me or wonder what is wrong with me because I’ve been single for so long. However, this encounter really got me thinking, am I just a sad soul that while my friends are getting themselves married, the only warmth I’m feeling at night is from my body pillow? Which, by the way, is one prong less desperate than the boyfriend pillow. Also, disclaimer, not only will a body pillow never leave you or judge you, it doesn’t get clingy when you don’t call. You all should invest in one. I digress. In all seriousness… well, semi-seriousness, I started to contemplate the trajectory of my life as a single woman… err lady… college student. My mother told me that my two goals this semester was to find […]
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